My Doctors

E-mail

Links

My Journal

The news on Friday was very encouraging.  The oncologist told us that I have a slow growing form of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (a different diagnosis than the one that I was originally given.)  If the disease has not spread, it is very treatable, perhaps even curable, with an antibody treatment (see Rituxin link above).  If it has not spread, I would be given the antibodies via IV (a several hour process), once/week for four weeks.  To determine the staging of my cancer, to see if it has spread, I will have a full body CT scan this Tuesday (November 20th), a bone marrow biopsy on Tuesday, November 27th, and I will meet again with my oncologist on December 4 to discuss the results of these tests.  Thank you for your continuing prayers!  I'm not out of the woods yet but I can smell poppies!  : )

Someone asked why I was afraid of the trees in the Wizard of Oz, and not the monkeys or the witch.  I think that it's because you expect monkeys to be naughty and, well......everyone knows to watch out for green witches!   But you don't expect apple trees to be mean.  As a little girl, we had several apple trees at our house and I loved the gravenstein apples at grandma's house but the trees never, ever threw their apples at me.  In the same way, this diagnosis has been scary because I've always been a very healthy person and I take good care of myself.....I never expected to be diagnosed with cancer....for my body to throw something like this at me. 

The Old Testament reading at church today included Malachi 4:2....."But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall".  Now, my bachelor's degree is in Agriculture so I have a special fondness of passages that mention livestock.....and, I confess that I have been known to scamper....just ask Amanda!.....although that scampering is usually inspired by the baby alpacas down the road.......but I think that I could scamper like a calf, too!   : )

So.....that was fun.  More pictures of my insides and "your doctor will have your report in two business days".  Dandy.  That means Monday....and six more days of waiting.......but who's counting.....

November 26, 2007    Thanksgiving Day was a beautiful, sunny day in Seattle.  Our family gathered at our log cabin on Lake Roesiger and enjoyed a traditional Thanksgiving dinner (except for the caraway rolls which were a bitter disappointment....I promised that I'd mention this! )  We've been in good spirits, I'm feeling well and I'm sleeping pretty well, too!  (I'm usually a poor sleeper).  The medical bills have begun to arrive but fortunately they came on the same day that my aunt sent a beautiful prayer shawl that she had knit for me.  Snuggled in the shawl, I took a deep breath and opened the bills.  Uff Da! 

Early tomorrow morning, I go in for a bone marrow biopsy.  I'm trying not to think about this and hoping that the anesthesia will be just as good as it was for the endoscopy.  I really don't want to "be there" for this one.  My oncologist should receive the results of my CT scan today or tomorrow and I'll meet with her next Tuesday to discuss the results of both tests and a treatment plan.  The waiting and wondering is a bit surprising.  From the time that the radiologist found the tumor in my stomach, the doctors and technicians treated me with a "sense of urgency".  Once I was given the initial diagnosis, however, it's been a series of week-long waits between tests and doctor appointments.  Test results take time, I know, but it'll be a month from the time of my diagnosis when I'll finally know my staging and treatment plan.  Fortunately I have a slow-growing form of lymphoma...and the treatment plan for indolent lymphomas is often to simply "watch and wait"......believe it or not!  Still, the natural response, as a patient, is to want the tumor out.....NOW!  The wait has been good, though, in the sense that it has given me time to study and understand lymphoma and the possible treatment options.  I'm anxious for next Tuesday when I'll finally have a definitive diagnosis and a plan for treatment.

More tomorrow.....when I hope to have nothing to share about what it's like to undergo a bone marrow biopsy.....

Hi! This is Carrie's daughter, Amanda.  I'll be keeping this page updated while her butt heals.

It's not every child who is greeted with "Hey! How was school? Do you want to look at my butt?" when they get home from school.  Then again, neither my mom nor I are really "normal" people, nor is our relationship a typical one.  Anyone who knows my mom knows that she LOVES to tell stories, and I love to hear them (and watch them for that matter... She gets really into it.), so I sat down on the foot of her bed for "story time".  

Apparently the accommodations at the hospital, well, left something to be desired.   In addition, the nurses had trouble drawing blood, which is strange, since nurses usually praise my mother for the ease with which they find her veins.  Anyway, they ended up having to poke her three times before getting what they needed.  This, naturally, made my mom apprehensive about the procedure at hand.

Luckily, in walks Dr. Cui, her oncologist.  Yay!  My mom hadn't realized that she'd be the one doing the biopsy.  Anyway, they gave her the stuff to make her sleepy, and doesn't remember what happened. Whew! Her nurses told her that she had to lay in bed on her butt all day, so she's made sure that my dad has kept her happy with Starbucks, which was, of course, her first stop on the way home. 

Hopefully Mom's butt will start feeling better tomorrow...

My friend also mentioned a game that I play....."the License Plate Game".  Here's how it's played.  You begin by finding a license plate that has "000", then you look for "001", "002", etc.  (Now for those of you in California, or other states with bad license plate numbers, you may have to alter the rules somehow).  My daughter introduced this game to me.  For years I have driven Amanda to piano, harp, voice, cello, and ballet lessons.  I've driven to rehearsals and performances, putting 24,000 miles/year on my car.....as a stay-at-home mom!  This game was a good way to amuse myself and I'd spend my time, waiting for her lessons to be over, cruising around looking for license plates (not a great idea considering the current gas prices).  Silly, I know, but I have this competitive streak in me....  Eventually, with too much time on my hands, I surpassed Amanda and she won't play with me anymore.  I'm now looking for "401" and......honest to goodness!.......nothing can make my day like finding the next license plate number!  Really!  I know, it's silly but it's a little thing that makes me really happy.

When you're diagnosed with cancer, it's natural to become reflective and think about the things that really make you happy.  I look for license plates, I savor that cup of Starbucks in the morning, I cuddle with a beagle......or I travel.  My very best friends, David and Lesley Hiltz, have shared their love of beagles with me.  They've also shared a love for travel and, until I met them, I really hadn't seen much of the world.  Over the years, we've traveled together throughout the US, we've made two trips to Crufts (Birmingham, England) and last summer we went to Denmark.  My ancestors came from Sweden and Denmark so that trip to Denmark was very special to me.  I wear an amber bracelet that I bought in Copenhagen and when I look at it, I'm instantly back in Denmark.  Other times, I travel mentally to places that I've been or places that I'd love to see......Stockholm, Santorini, Bruges, Sydney.  Friends in Finland have sent photos of a beautiful lake near their home.....I hope to go there someday, too.

I'm writing today from the IV treatment room at Valley Medical Center. Here, in a small room, crowded with recliners arranged in a circle, I receive my first treatment, the sole representative of my demographic niche. :)  The nurses are kind and the treatment is going smoothly.  Dr. Cui said that the first treatment would last 4-6 hours, but upon arrival, we learned that this could be a 10-12 hour procedure.  Subsequent treatments should be shorter since it appears that I am not having an allergic reaction to the medication.  I am sleepy; the result of Benadryl and Tylenol PM, given to minimize allergic reaction.  I ordered a Caesar salad with salmon for lunch (which wasn't bad considering that it's hospital food!)  I'm expecting a visit from Larry shortly... to deliver my Starbucks order.

I'm home now (5:30 pm).  My treatment ended at 3:45 and next Friday's treatment should be completed in half the time since I handled the medication very well.  It was interesting to "people-watch" during my stay.  I was the quiet girl in the corner (with my book, my iPod  and my Starbucks).  The rest of the patients were older men of various ethnic background.  All of the patients were very positive and I've never heard so many "Thank You"s spoken in my life.  The thought that occurred to me was that if you took a cross-section of drivers on the freeway, you'd never end up with this percentage happy, polite, positive people.  The nurses were very kind, too, and my stay was pleasant and uneventful.  I did get very sleepy  (due to the Benadryl and Tylenol PM) and I tried to lay back in my recliner to nap but that meant looking directly up into a fluorescent light fixture and, under those conditions, sleep just wasn't gonna happen.  So.....now that I'm home, I'm going to crawl into bed and get some rest.  Thank you to everyone for your messages of support!  I've read them all and I'm replying as quickly as I can.  EVERY message is very much appreciated!  Thank You!

Last night, our oldest daughter got married!  You'd think that between my health and the holidays, I'd have enough to deal with right now....but NO!....I have to come to grips with the fact that I'm now........a mother-in-law!  CLEARLY I'm TOO YOUNG to be someone's mother-in-law!!!  Nick and Marie have been engaged for over a year but didn't set a date until last week.  Since they live in Michigan, I was unable to attend but Larry made the trip and was there to give the bride away.  They both wanted a very small (10 people attended), informal wedding and everything went well.  Nick and Marie will fly home to Seattle for Christmas so the rest of us will be able to celebrate with them then.

So......enough with the whining!  I'm getting used to the idea that I'm a mother-in-law.....but please don't use "G" word around me.  That's not gonna happen for a long, long time.....they've promised!  Larry made it safely home from Detroit but not without a little drama.  They'd had 9 inches of snow the night before he came home and when the plane tried to pull away from the terminal, the wheels on the plane were frozen in place.  It took a couple of hours to dislodge the plane and de-ice it in preparation for the flight.  Nick and Marie will fly home to spend Christmas with us this year, arriving late Sunday night.  Our family's Christmas Eve tradition is to gather for a Swedish dinner....Potato Sausage, Swedish Baked Beans, Lefse and........Lutefisk!  New male members of the family are welcomed with their first taste of lutefisk on Christmas Eve.......welcome to the family, Nick!!!  :)

Merry Christmas!

We had a nice Christmas......a rare white Christmas, in fact!  On Christmas morning, the snow began to fall and we had an inch or so by the time I went home that night.  We've enjoyed spending time with our daughter, Marie, and her new husband, Nick, who are visiting us from Michigan.  Nick had his first taste of lutefisk on Christmas Eve and actually preferred it to pickled herring......silly boy!

Thank you to everyone for your cards and e-mails.....I'm overwhelmed by the continuing support that I've received.

My next appointment is Friday, January 4th when I'll see my oncologist again.  We'll schedule another CT scan to see what my tumor looks like and go from there.

We added several new families to the Talbot Hill Family this year, too, and as special as those wins in the ring are, finding great homes for our puppies is still the most rewarding part of what we do.  Thank you all for the photos and updates that you send.  I've especially appreciated your messages of support over the last couple of months........THANK YOU!

We gained a son-in-law in 2007, too!  Nick and Marie joined us for Christmas this year and they're now safely at home in Michigan where they will both finish degrees in computer programming at Wayne State University.

Finally, an apology for not keeping up with my e-mail.  After recovering from my 3rd Rituxan treatment, I've come down with a bad cold and I've spent most of the last two weeks in bed.  I'm looking forward to a much healthier 2008!

So........I've come home to pout for the rest of the evening.  Tomorrow I'll wake up with a smile on my face and optimism about the future.....

..........and resume the hunt for "401".  I'm still looking for 401!!!

But.....somehow, I get up each day and get on with life.  I take each day as it comes and let God worry about the future.....it's out of my hands.  Everything happens for a reason, according to His plan......

.......LOL!.....and yet, I still want to get this chapter of my life over with NOW!  I have places to see and dogs to breed......

In other news, she has an appointment with another doctor for a second opinion on Monday...

So....back to "cancer news".  Today I met with another oncologist for a second opinion.  Dr. Levenson agreed with Dr. Cui's course of treatment thus far and her reasons for using Rituxan-only to begin with.  He said, though, that if I was his patient, he would probably use a more aggressive approach:  CHOP (chemo) + Rituxan.  He's going to consult with his own pathologists and radiation specialists and get back to me within the next week.  In the meantime, I have yet another CT scan scheduled for next Monday morning and a follow up appointment with Dr. Cui on February 4th.  Between now and then, I have some thinking to do about the course of treatment that I want to pursue and which oncologist I want to work with.

Today I met again with Dr. Cui and learned that last week's CT scan showed little change in my tumor since the beginning of January.  She explained that low-grade lymphoma is both very slow growing and, unfortunately, often very slow to respond to treatment.  The options at this point are another round of Rituxan, chemotherapy, radiation or, as a last resort, surgery.  There are pros and cons to all of the options but, until you try them, you don't know what will be most effective for you.  I've chosen to get more aggressive with my cancer and will have CVP chemo + Rituxan beginning in March.  At the end of those treatments, any remaining tumor will be treated with either radiation or surgery + radiation. 

In the meantime, I'm feeling fine and I'm in good spirits.  I'm looking forward to showing Luigi this weekend for the first time and I've enjoyed getting reports about my dogs that are spread throughout the country.  My treatments will begin the week of March 10 -14 (just after the Seattle Kennel Club show - so that I'll be well enough to work at the show).  I'm really not worried about losing my hair but, in talking with other cancer survivors, that reality often doesn't hit you until you get there......we'll see.  I'm just looking forward to getting rid of this tumor and putting this chapter of my life behind me.

Larry is busy working at the Home Show in Seattle this week and trying to get some real estate deals put together.  The real estate market is still very, very soft so he's been working long hours with little reward.....

I've been using airline and hotel points to get a few dog shows in before I start chemo next month.  On February 8th, I showed Luigi for the first time and he went BOV over a special!!!  David was also showing Herbie that day and won the 15" variety so I had two dogs in the hound group.......AND......they both made the cut.....with Herbie going on to a group placement!!!!  Woo Hoo!!!  That was an exciting day!  This last weekend, I flew to Denver to watch Herbie compete at a big four day cluster and to see another young dog that I bred show for the first time.  Herbie won the variety three out of four days and Michael was BOW for majors on both of the days that he was shown.  It was nice to see "Talbot Hill" so strongly represented in the ring and Herbie is now the #2 15-inch Beagle in the country (just behind Uno!) and the #20 hound.

I've been feeling great and the dogs are doing their part to keep my spirits up!  I meet with my oncologist again on the 25th to schedule the treatments that will begin in March.  I'm anxious to get started on my treatments.........